There is a great learning lesson
for those (me included) whose ‘plans’ in life do not seem to work at all
despite whatever one’s intentions and whatever the efforts undertaken so far.
It is a very painful experience to have, when confronted with the realization
that ALL things done and assumed as per our capacity turned out worthless. And
further painful is the realization that nothing can undo the present circumstance
and nothing can stop things from happening to you.
And in such traumatic situations,
contemplating the end of the world, or the end of our selves as individuals, we
are confronted with the following questions:
1. Was
ever the situation in our control – in past? If the present turned out to be
completely different and shocking despite our logic, won’t the future turn out
something way different from what we expect? So why should one ‘act’ or ‘plan’
anyway? Why should one be concerned about control?
2. There
is no point in assuming that the present situation would be better IF some
crucial decisions were taken in the right way in the past – I no longer ascribe
to this assumption of “cause” and “effect”. That is, some things will remain
beyond one’s control/ imagination despite considering all causes and probable
effects. In short, life is not maths. There is no point in blaming ourselves if
life turned out not as per our expectations. In the same note, there is no
point in taking credit for ourselves if things turned out as per what we
expected. Blame or credit – is incidental or self created. What remains as a
reality that we act and circumstances are to be faced – whatever they may be. It
is an illusion to believe that all results are a product of thoughtful actions.
3. In
the same token, it is not worth to feel guilty or experience regret for past
actions – you may have avoided some nasty things, but there would be other
nasty things in store for you at present also! In other words, the “outside”
situation presents itself depending on (and in response to) what you are
thinking. A stage comes in life, when you give up the “aspect of thinking in
order to control external events”. This kick starts the stage of understanding
the mind at a greater level.
4. The
biggest thing to take notice of is our own mind. Perhaps, our mind means
reality for us. If this is so, can there be any external thing more important
than our mind? In other words, what defines the nature of external reality is
dependent on the nature of our thoughts. Since thoughts change, are unstable,
fluid – the external reality or the perception of life appears changing, fluid,
uncontrollable.
5. Pursuing
any kind of a thought as well as suppressing any kind of a thought - both stands are not necessary. Both create
a reality, which is not perfect or can’t assure a blissful life. You entertain
a thought – and it will lead to other thoughts and actions and circumstances.
You suppress a thought and that will generate other thoughts that lead to some
cycle of actions and circumstances. Thus, we can’t freeze actions and their
consequences. So why be afraid?
6. Things
change. This is obvious, but we still insist in clinging to some thoughts, some
events, some memories, some notions, some ideas, some people…..why do we do
this? May be it is natural for a human to do so, but a better situation will be
to “let go” of everything. Meaning, recognizing that thoughts are formed and
they change…and this will continue forever as long as we exist.
7. Traumatic
events can really make you feel vulnerable, worthless, minuscule and many other
things. This is the hardest phase of life. This is the phase that makes you
aware of the need to trust the idea of ‘existence’ without doubting it or
controlling it. You are reborn after this phase.
8. It
is very difficult to explain this state of mind to people around you – since they
may not have encountered any of the grueling thoughts that you have. This can
again create a sense of loneliness and frustration – that you are not able to
connect with anyone around you or people do not seem to understand what you are
feeling.
9. Thus,
point (8) leads you to one more quality that you must generate – forgiveness and
compassion for yourself and people.
10. In
retrospect, one starts to express gratitude to God after all that has happened
before and after all that you have changed. The lesson learnt was precious,
though horrifying.
11. Thus
begins the journey of trust, faith and love.
