Who Am I?

This is in continuation of the last article on “On Becoming!”…

The most fundamental realization one must comprehend is that thoughts are a self created product of the ‘mind’ and ‘mind’ is NOT who the Being is. In other words, mind is a creation itself. And the separateness of the body and the illusionary attachment to the idea of existence gives rise to fear – therefore thoughts – and therefore memory and time. All is imagination.

There are people who remain oblivious to this realization. They don’t question anything and treat anything at face value. They don’t analyze things and live in perpetual fear. No matter what you tell them, they have already shut their eyes and ears to outside alternative realities.

There are others, who realize the impact of thoughts and the urge to control them. Depending on their ability to control thoughts, the quality of life differs for each.  If we really continue to concentrate on the nature of thought itself, our mind will become still and we may then appropriately be able to create thoughts which are required to shape our lives in a better way.

Lastly, there are those, who have transcended thoughts and have seen that dimension of existence that is beyond the grasp of thoughts – such a dimension which is beyond time, memory, character, social constructs, which has no beginning and no end – which just exists. That dimension is within us – we have tightly covered it with a billion layers of thoughts.

Why is this study important? It is important to those who realize the limitations of existential decisions based on mind, body, context. Nevertheless, “decisions” are to be taken. Swami Vivekananda says that “thought” itself is a decision that generates an action. Noone can escape the effects of this cycle of thoughts and action and consequences. At an existential layer, following things are recommended to control the mind:

1.       Making the mind still by meditation. This takes years. This is a training to realize that thoughts should NOT control you. Thus, to realize the nature of thought (attachment/ ego/ fear) itself and how our senses play a role in it.

2.       Focus – The first step prepares us to command the mind the way we want, without any distraction. As long as we don’t understand the mind fully, we remain distracted or unfocussed.

3.       Selfless work – This is about the intent behind action. Intent should not spring from fear/ego etc., but from a pure dimension.

4.       To think of welfare of all and to be ethically and morally sensitive.

5.       To define simple living  - which means fundamental value driven existence. To understand the role of values that are universal or timeless.

This is the core of thinking or knowledge generation. The question is what is creation? What sort of knowledge should be revealed? And what are the repercussions of this revelation? At the core, is the concern for the nature of knowledge itself and the question of the millennium is ‘Who Am I’?

Just as a cow can act weird and attract a ‘mad cow disease’, we too can act completely weird by our thoughts.

On Becoming!....

On Becoming!....

A fundamental thought to decode –

Behind every existential thought – is greed….but should it?

A dedicated focus on this realization for years, will reveal what is ‘Time’, who creates ‘Time’, what is ego/mind/ me/ myself, where does ‘thought’ occur, what is ‘thought’ ?

Consciousness, of any kind, is the realization of Being situated in a neutral space. The birth of the Being starts the phenomenon of thoughts – that gives rise to the experience we call – existence. Thus, existence (as a meaning) has a potential to take the individual sense of ‘Being’ to ‘Universal idea of cosmos’ (beyond one’s body and mind). AS long as we identify with our own limited sense of Being, we do not understand the world completely and are misguided by incomplete understanding of reality. In Hindu scriptures, this is called as “Maya”. The English language translation is Illusion. We can call it Imagination.

Thought is so subtle and because it is subtle, it is the hardest to control. When we say, ”just imagine!...”, that is what we are completely immersed in for our entire lives! The whole experience of existence is nothing but an imagination! (and hence, the virtual nowadays seems same as the ‘real’ – or the question is - what IS actually ‘Real’, or is ‘Real’ what we create for ourselves?). Does reality exist outside our identification with ‘Being’? And if it does, what is the experience?

Above is the central concern of philosophy. This concern takes place because of man choosing to understand the relationship of his existence with the outside events. Both seem to be related because we choose to relate. But for what? For our survival. Then what is survival? Frankly speaking, I don’t know. We can partly answer the question – how does this need for survival get created? And to make us survive, we ‘fear’ our separateness from the Unknown. The fear leads to compulsion of control/ greed/ violence/ ego/ time/ movement. As long as we identify with this gross dimension, we remain swayed by the belief in Fear factor. Resistance to Fear is not possible. And to go with Fear will only exaggerate it. Then what is the solution?

The solution lies in observing how the mind plays tricks. How does it create attachment, compels us to do things, creates desires, creates goals and makes us run. Yes, this will continue and can’t be stopped. Noone is saying to stop. However, the issue is to realize a dimension in ourself which is beyond the mind (or the mind being a subset of a Higher Dimension).

We can only realize this potential, if we practice it daily in our thoughts, actions.

How do we do? This makes me introduce the idea of “intention”. As explained at the start, if we are unaware of our deep intention of operating because of Fear, we continue to strengthen Fear. All our motives, processes and products – ask yourself what is the intention behind what you choose to do? Very powerful question. You will soon realize how deep rooted this intention of exercising Fear is! Thus, the ideal solution to this tendency is to change the nature of intention itself, so you operate from a different dimension. Easier said that done! In other words, to train the mind to expand its horizon to go beyond body and connect with the cosmos. Anything that encourages empathy, assistance, ethics, morality – will lead us there. Think beyond yourself.

The idea of “common good” or the “welfare of all” (Dharma or doing the Right Thing) is beyond our petty differences, petty contexts and pettiness of identifying with ourselves. Nishkaam Karma – thinking and acting beyond petty expectations. We focus ourselves to such an extent, that we ‘forget’ our grip on our ego itself! By repeated practice (for years and perhaps for many lives) of such an action, the ego doesn’t arise at all. If there’s no ego, there’s no fear.

Focus on ideas that have remained for eternity – those ideas that are no one’s copyrights but are discovered from Existence themselves.

This is the highest level of progress of the human mind. This is who we are and what we can become! The journey is about Becoming! The rest, as they say – are only a clown’s movements!

The World and Me

A lot can be said about the perceivable shift in the consciousness of contemporary urban world as compared to contemporary rural world or consciousness of urban world post the internet explosion as compared to pre-internet environment.

In either cases, the shift, as I understand, is in perceiving the world intellectually (primarily fragmented manner) as compared to an experience coming from your entire being (perceiving wholistically).

The shift has happened in placing ‘myself’ above the ‘phenomenon’ as compared to accepting that the ‘phenomenon’ is greater than ‘me’

The shift has happened in believing that ‘I’ am separate from the rest of the ‘world’ as compared to understanding that ‘I’ am linked with the ‘world’

The shift has happened in dictating and defining the ‘phenomenon’ as compared to responding to a given existing ‘phenomenon’.

The shift is getting concluded to ‘me’ from ‘community’

The shift is getting accelerated to ‘instant’ from the ‘eternal’

The shift is getting perceived as ‘explicitness’ from ‘implicitness’

The shift is getting ‘sophisticated’ as compared to being ‘simple’

The shift is considering ‘I’ as the ultimate reality as compared to ‘cosmic pattern’ as a recurring phenomenon

The shift is becoming ‘abstract’ as compared to ‘grounded’ experience

The shift is becoming ‘arrogant’ as compared to ‘ethical’

The shift is in becoming ‘competitive’ as compared to being ‘accommodating’

The shift is in believing that ‘you’ are the cause of the world as compared to being emphatic to the world

The shift is in ‘shutting oneself’ as compared to ‘hearing’ others

The shift is in ‘racing despite the odds’ as compared to ‘introspection’

The shift is in ‘slicing’ the knowledge pie as compared to ‘growing’ the knowledge pie

The shift is in ‘cluttering’ as compared to ‘de-cluttering’

'Me'

Today I have decided to state my positive points. I rarely state this, for I feel that character of the person should speak for itself – it’s not to be advertised.

I have come face to face with the primordial position of ‘Fear’ – that exists in every human being, but no one dares to face or challenge or even recognize for what It is and how It affects us. People go on some existential trip, choosing not to question this Fear or probably fooling themselves into believing that Fear need not be addressed at all – rarely realising that almost all of their actions have an undercurrent of Fear (greed/ attachment/ jealousy/ ego – all mean the same). This realization of Fear happened within me because retrospectively I can say, that I am highly introspective fellow and my inner world affects me tremendously. I can feel all kinds of nuances without anybody telling it or expressing it. In that way, my imagination power knows no bounds. I am intuitive and can make out the intention behind a person’s actions, regardless of what he/she may claim or do or show or express outwardly. This deep rooted intention is hard to verbalize, but it should be felt – and I feel it within a few minutes that I am conversing with a person. This hints to me – how reliable is a person’s character. Honest people, sincere people, simple and compassionate people are preferred as compared to any highly intellectual fellow but who doesn’t have ethics or morality in thought.

My introspective aspect has made me philosophical and I see the Relative Truth in everything. I can’t therefore take a position – since I see many colours to the same manifested phenomenon. That way, I remain accommodating and accepting of people’s natures and try not to take it personally. My words, I am aware, have an impact on people – so they should be used carefully.

I have been in isolation for long. I have been observing, and I have seen how difficult it is to control thoughts or our state of mind. I have seen the connections our mind makes to outside events – I have seen how sorrow develops, pain engulfs and happiness blossoms. I have seen that things change and although we know the logical step to be taken, it is difficult for the mind to ‘leave’ an aspect of memory and move on. This makes me humble, since it is our mind that needs to be trained, NOT the outside events. Thus, we are on our own path of progress. People, situations, life – are all incidental, imbibed with meanings we create for our own sustenance. The effort is to create a good meaning – that raises our mind to a level that it sees the cosmos, and not to contract onto itself.

I see that we exist in duality and our mind keeps pouncing from one duality to another – and perhaps that is what causes movement of thought and so we experience change. To pursue a thought (or to reject a thought) has limitations – since it does not release us from Death neither it releases us from the inevitability of Action and Its consequence. This inevitability is the dilemma of existence – which only we humans can be made aware and I am now being aware of it. Sitting on this dilemma is the new question of what is to be done ‘next’? Seers talk about Nishkaam Karma – to Act without Expectation of the Fruit – like a selfless duty – like Devotion. I need to start on that path.

In today’s times, I am often faced with the question of why do I continue to entertain philosophical thoughts – in an age of quick fix it solutions and where people don’t have the time to even bat an eyelid. I do so, because it builds my perspective of understanding things – whether they fetch me returns and how much, needn’t be an issue here.

Students give me trouble and compel me to be patient. If one sees within their hearts, one realizes that they only reflect the tendency of the Times. It is with retrospection itself, that one can go to such far reaching depths and see things for what they are and without being affected by them. This is an arduous task – walking on nails or on pyre of fire. It is easy to fall onto temptations and give up. It is easy to feel dejected when no one around you seems to know the battle you alone seem to be fighting. There is no cause for your battle and there is no guarantee of the result or the change that you wish to bring. Yet you choose to do it, for it is to be done, for it is the only way that eventually will lead you to realize your best potential – which is being in command of your thoughts.

I am focused. I exercise minimum choices and try to make do with minimum personal resources. I realize that every manifestation/ product has a process that is also preceded by some thoughts/ values. Hence the intentions are required to be checked – for they create a reality. With this, comes a realization that one just can’t fool oneself. One thinks and the effect is done, you admit it or not. Ripples in consciousness is going to be made by your thoughts. Now choose the nature of those thoughts!

I go against the norm by slowing down. It’s a huge challenge. I feel things that people don’t. So I can contribute in creating feelings in an environment, where none existed before.

I choose my ground – whatever that ground is. And this need not be subjected to critique always. Certain things are inherited, others are formed by our tendencies and others we choose to modify or aspire to something new. Certain learned things are right – for they had lasted for centuries, for they talk of values and aren’t about you or me. Such things need not be trashed away. They have stood the test of time, so they can be believed in.

I choose to believe in fundamental values of sharing, connections, multiuse, multifunctional, human comfort, respect for Nature and the concern for the larger good. These seem to be disrespected by the world today and the toughest battle is going to hold our own ground made by these values. Being simple, hasn’t been so tough before!

I remain silent. I don’t believe that proving a point always is required, because things happen when they have to. One must continue to hold values. Proving one’s thoughts, in an age of fragmentation feels ridiculous. You may have a comprehensive thought, however you may find it difficult to find a person who can appreciate this! Thus the question – do you do work for being appreciated or should you do work since it is the right thing to be done? This becomes a lifelong quest. Silence gives enormous power of patience. It also teaches a lot of pain and hardship. It tells you a lot of nuances of human behavior. Silence makes you observe things closely and heals you if it is done effortlessly and without bringing the “I” inside. Silence gives clarity and calms your mind. In this decade I have passed through enormous pain, so terrible that it is beyond words to explain. Whom to share? Who can understand? Who can console? Who can encourage and show the way? Who can understand the pain behind the silence? The pain couldn’t be shared. The burden was mine. The burden had to be lifted till I felt I couldn’t do it any longer. I believe it was a phase. And it gives a picture regarding what is fundamental and what is ephemeral. One is required to maintain one’s posture regardless of the storm one faces. And trust oneself that one can weather the storm.

In knowing above things, there comes a time where I can’t share these learnings with people – who are engrossed in rush hour traffic. Thus, do I remain isolated? The question pops up – what is isolation? And does it have to do with our expectation regarding people understanding us or empathizing with us? Empathy is required intrinsically to sustain our belief in existence. What if I am not getting it from outside? The challenge – to realize that ‘we’ are filled with empathy and love and it is upto us to heal ourselves and people around us. Difficult road ahead!

To embrace the idea of God – as work, or a human or a situation or a thought or an action. Being fully immersed in action without a hint of expectation of returns.

Expression

A high premium is laid on expressing oneself. It is taken to such an extreme, that I feel that I would be committing murder if I stay silent!

There is a theoretical premise why self expression is preferred over non verbal communication.  But that apart, I think there is a misconception that self expression (verbal) is in a better position to solve problems/ to give clarity over the situation or to ease ambiguity. My take on this, is that whatever is in your mind, will eventually express itself – in verbal or non verbal terms. Any action or an expression is no guarantee of bringing transformation in oneself. Bluntly speaking, if there’s garbage or confusion in one’s mind – that is what is going to come out. For something to change, one needs to relook within or do an internal assessment. Without the effort to reassess our internal world, no constructive change is possible.

We must understand that there is something called as ‘thoughts’ that are a function of our existence. Thoughts mean mind – and mind means the compulsion of being immersed in thoughts as a function of survival. The idea of survival is an indicator of “attachment” to the phenomena of body and mind. We are aware of it to a greater extent than other life forms and hence the attachment to thoughts is also much greater. Our imaginations of the past and the future are all indicators of this survival instinct.

The mind clings to anything. The idea of existence or experience or perception of life itself means clinging to a series of thoughts that define you! To what the mind clings and why, is a question that can be answered just partly. It can cling to negative emotions or positive emotions, but it nevertheless clings. To whatever it chooses to cling, defines our quality of life – or the intention of our processes/ actions and the consequences. This clinging also informs our perception of the consequences of our own actions. The mind is also very volatile – it jumps from one kind of imagination to another. That way, we are programmed. However, if we know the working/ tendency of the clinging that we tend to do, we may decide the choice of clinging to help us go to higher levels of experiences. Thus, at some level, this tendency may be seen as playing tarzan – swinging (clinging) from one tree (phenomenon/ thought) to another and creating our way forward. The movement generated by thoughts is inevitable. Whatever compulsions we feel, it still remains in our hands to discipline our mind. Disciplining means to stay focused, to decode phenomena, to perceive and conceive things appropriately and to make sense of the world around us and to connect with universal compassion with all. The training is required to take us from an individual sense of survival to a collective and unbounded sense of empathy to all. The training will help us move from a linear sense of time to a spiral sense of time. From fragmentary reality to a wholesome phenomena. From mundane to profound. Thus, training of the mind is required to overcome its shortcomings or to overcome petty tendencies. From complexity to simplicity. From exclusiveness to inclusiveness. From customization to multifunctional. From grandiose to minimal. From verbose to silence.

This journey is something that requires no justification or no need to express. If one is on this journey, his/her actions and character will speak for itself. Having understood this, there is no need for any justification. Having known the cause of an imagined fear, there remains no justification to prove oneself or outwit the other.  Having known thought itself, one is in a position to control thought at will.