Mauli: Chaos and Silence

020223: Mauli: Chaos and Silence

ego plays out things in weird ways.

ego is a belief of lack of time or to be stressed by undue pressures of space and time. pressure is self created and this is dependent on identification with vibrations leading to forces and forms - separation. increased fragmentation means more pace of change, more variables,  more expectations of controlling the variable, more feeling of loss on account of faster rate of change of variables, more sense of resignation since things seem to slip out from our hands and so on. people try to arrest this feeling through measures of

tighter controlling measures meant to streamline with absolute clarity the definition of variables and defining the identity of every parameter in a situation. this may mean more laws, more conditions, more terms, more lawsuits and so on.

more control means more surveillance, more data, more sequencing, more micro managing the situation. this may mean increase of documentation and increased anxiety for finding some gaps in data collection and algorithms.

lots of noise and only being concerned about what one expects and bulldozing everything else - feelings and opinions included. increased pitch of voice, more time spent in defending oneself and justifying one's actions and reframing doing something where there is ambiguity. this leads to apathy and false silence.

loss of focus, multitasking, misplaced priorities in the head and wasting meaningful time of one's life.

compelled to cover up by doing too many  things at misplaced times to please all "lost" things from relationships to tasks to people. not being able to empathize and understand and decode feelings. compelled to perform always and be loud. (if environment becomes disconnected, the self becomes more aggressive, louder and exhibitionist)

above things do not work however for humanity's benefit. and at the centre is 'we' the person who imagines this idea of control and loss. as more and more fragmentation happens, one is going to have lesser control over defined products since what is "imagined", what is "said", what gets "perceived" and what "action" takes place - each step differs or fragments. there is a difference at each level of vibration in terms of intent and the irony is that each step is required to be justified from vibrations to forces to forms!

this inquiry is philosophical and one needs to realize what is existence, how is one related to the cosmos and how change occurs. at the same time, how creation occurs is also to be understood. by realizing this phenomenon, then one can think of defining the nature of creation, engagement and response.

response taken from ego is misleading no matter how slow or fast the response maybe. we are not the doer and we do not have any start or end point of action - it is a cycle and we are not individuals who can think away in our sweet dreams. we are from consciousness Whose Presence generates all motion - alignment or fragmentation occurs herein. we only have a choice to be undertaken or exercised - either keep fragmenting or realize the alignment with the Whole.

above may still look too abstract to be applied. but when i see my parents ailing health, tons of things to be responded, my boss's temperament, college atmosphere and the general hyperness exhibited by people around me, above thoughts occur in my mind and i am forced to ask  - where is all of this going to lead to? there is nothing that has a pattern and that can be predicted. to expect anything from any situation is surely going to lead to disappointment and it is a battle that has to be fought daily internally.

my silence expresses this battle and perhaps this too may dissolve and offer solace.

Hari Om.