Shree: Who am I?

 

300722: Shree: Who am I?

Things happen and they create certain perceptions in our mind – which are incomplete and that generates a feeling of impermanence and fear. Also our own vibrations create situations and hence memories, aspirations, perceptions of the present are subjected to change and remain incomplete. This is all theoretical as is being said – but is true also for lived experiences and how feelings get generated. Theory is a way of expressing the nature of existence; it has to be discovered by the individual.

Things will happen when they have to and in some ways that may be different from what is expected. So things, meanings, expectations, engagements are added layers to existence. Existence itself is neutral, infinite, unchangeable and blissful and full of potential to become but not attached or identified with anything. I or perception or form or relationship or situations all mean the same – motion, its effects and engagement and change. It is the same medium seen in different ways of imagination. Vibration is imagination or imagination also cannot take place without vibration. Hence it has a physical and psychological component and perhaps we are talking of the same thing/ phenomenon but in different perspectives – “physical” OR “psychological”.

Anyway, the idea of fear or ego (or its impact) is so deep rooted that it cannot be adequately said in words or feelings, since our present state of mind cannot reach those levels of vibrations and even if it did, then it cannot be said in proper words or language for others to understand and even if it is said in proper words, then it just creates a distorted reactions from people. (For justification – so much depth of going within is required and that also means how much deep the fear is present in us!). All this means that as we go closer to the Truth of existence; we are faced with a situation of going beyond the “other” and “self” (as motion) and we are required to invent proper words or language or diagrams that express the inner depths of this journey and what is meant by vibrations. In this process, the person experiencing the Truth may feel disconnected with others and vice versa. This also requires acceptance. And perhaps this becomes the biggest challenge to go beyond the self constructed notions of others/ situations – since that will mean leaving all these constructs behind and which also means that our identity does not (and need not) depend on any motion. Another challenge is that I may understand this sequence in a particular way, which will be uniquely about me. That does not again give an answer to others’ queries of life, apart from a general nature of philosophy. Hence philosophy has to be practiced to realize the Truth and is not a formula.

This is a difficult learning. But by surrendering the ego, I choose not to question and trouble my mind about why, how, where, how and when since these questions should not define my worth or what I set out to do or what happens and what results. Despite any intent and any words that are planned, things nevertheless happen in weird and hurtful ways.

This perhaps is a given - the nature of existence. But at times, it is also learnt that people say very deep things when the time is just right for them to say so – about their past or future or what they truly feel of the present. Why and how does this happen is not known. And just as annoyance erupts regardless of anything one does, same way compassion also is expressed regardless of any situation.

In that respect, situations do not exist. What only exists is our decision to become something – a tendency or a vibration or God.

I may have all the accounts of what I am and my tendency and relationships and situations and scenarios and foci, yet I am never sure of what is impending. Should I base my worth or feelings on this unknown eruption of situation? Should I become so much conditional on past or present or future? Should I be conditioned to motion? Should I become motion? Am I the motion?

Or am I something else?

Hari Om.