Shree: feelings and me

 Shree: feelings and me

we are already divine and everything is divinity. how things happen in terms of words, language, behaviour, analysis, events, situation is beyond comprehension - a combination of variables, interdependence and consciousness. we may not understand anything about it and may get some sense afterwards. we may least expect things to happen in some ways or these may happen in ways beyond our imagination - but they happen. do we or should we then analyze what happens? it is always better to pause, step back, focus and have loads of patience for everything and forgive. fact is even we are not the absolute reality, coming from God, so all that happens is by God's will. we may have serious doubt about our intentions, which is fine and acceptable and perhaps about being human but one must keep trusting God for everything regardless of any kind of change that happens surrounding us or within us. all is good, regardless one knows it or not. this is a step by step realization and we will get to that feel of bliss, but patience is a must.

for me, i am always concerned with feelings and the accurate manner in which they need to be communicated. communication can be looked at as silence and simplicity or verbosity + complexity. having words is no guarantee that one is understood. to understand is to understand and empathise with the known and the unknown and the ambiguity that results from it. although ambiguity is a word, it means the generation of feelings that do not seem to have a straight forward, immediate reason to erupt. pain, bliss, empathy, compassion, resignation fall into those categories. explaining long term feelings and understanding them and empathising them requires mind preparation. i desire that the self talk gets expressed so i perhaps get a hold of the feelings. this seems to be an internal gaze and that is ok to be expressed in many ways; that i may be misunderstood; may not be able to communicate although i know what is going to happen; may not be patient enough to decode people's feelings; may want change to happen but the change may appear at some other dimension altogether. whatever i am, and whatever change happens - is always for the good. trust it.

at times, i long for expressing these feelings and an analytical answer is too short an explanation for assisting in expressing them. i may be misunderstood terribly for this and for years i was on a low esteem. quick answers, short answers, aggression, proof, evaluation, judgment is not my forte and i am nobody to blame anybody who seem to be short sighted. all comes from God, so all is relative, just as a position i seem to support. yet, this position (as a dimension of motion) is valid too and may give me the peace  - in what way, when, how, where, is something to trust God for the same.

Hari Om.