Shree

 

Shree

How much are we going to consider ourselves responsible for things not in our control? Responsibility comes with the urge of controlling variables and that comes with the creation of ego from vibrations formed in consciousness. “Vrutti” or vibrations are the crux of all things that become, happen, experienced, changes and remain dependent.

In complex systems, currently it seems, people do not meet, they do not wish to say or discuss anything or initiate any change and come to a common value to be pursued. I get hyper about how things can get refined and coordinated well enough into a seamless unified output of a value or a feeling or a performance or a product or a realization. This is a ‘compulsion’ I induce myself into perhaps, because I feel it is a must and I remain unsatisfied, incomplete, and anxious with a feeling of loss if this is not accomplished. So I remain on turmoil for things that are subleted always thinking that they would happen in ways that are not in sync with the main aim or a value. This can happen with work or with relationships or with space or time or with people with whom I connect or perceive.

The inquiry is – can this be responded in a better way? As more things continue to fragment with more silence, less of public spirit and cluelessness about what people choose to be engaged with; the feeling of loss or isolation may increase for me IF I continue with the same expectation that everyone should sort and discuss things to “avoid” clash.

The problem with this expectation is why should “clash” be avoided and to keep thinking about how it can be avoided. I need to be comfortable with the feeling of letting go of clashes and they DO NOT mean that I was wrong or I need to be responsible for fragmentation or its responses or effects on the environment. Of course this is not an excuse to resign but there is a limit to what one can hope to do.

Further I need to concentrate on those things that give me peace – maybe time, writing, painting, walking, peace, trust in God and such things – little or big are immaterial. Maybe venting out feelings in some way is important for me to happen – all do it in different ways – I should find my way.

Why should I remain hyper about existence? This is the crux. Why should space and time indicate something about me? Why should they cause disturbance? Why should change be restricted in any way?

I am what I am. Incomplete maybe. Temporary maybe. But a part of the entire web of existence. Isolation is a construct born from dependence. That requires to be decoded philosophically. Do not run, do not compartmentalize, do not try to fix it. Do not pressurize yourself.

Regardless of “whatever” maybe the perception or the nature of change, consciousness and the soul is always there. Trust and harness that experience. Thoughts of any kind may come and go – but I am above or beyond thoughts.

Hari Om.